Blow ups

Justin: I'm waiting for a blow-up.
Me: What's a blow-up?
Justin: When I say the wrong thing.

- Justin, contemplating the inevitable.

More gas-lighting

Gas-lighting is on my bucket-list.
But not in a creepy way.

- Justin, definitely not being creepy

Gas-lighting

I might actually be gas-lighting you all at the moment.
Maybe I have been for ages?

- Justin, on control issues

Animal, vegetable or mineral?

Me: Are you animal, vegetable or mineral?
Justin: Both.

- Justin, not quite understanding the rules of the game.

Hobbies

I've tried hobbies and they are all really boring.

- Justin, on occupying his time effectively.

Dinosaurs

The thing is, if dinosaurs really did speak with German accents, Jurassic Park would have had to have sub-titles.

- Justin, confusing accents with languages.

Phones with murderous intent

My phone thinks I want to die.

- Justin, after asking Siri a depressing question