The bin

I've eaten stuff from the bin before.

- Justin, on feeding himself.

Lunchbox

I just saw your lunchbox and remembered I've got a lunchbox too but it needs washing.

- Justin, on his "lunchbox"

Pissed.

I've never had a man piss on me but I have drunk piss.  It tasted like dirty water.

Skinky

"I don't smell, a stink bug fell on me". - Justin, humming.

Toilet

Ok, I'm not going back in that toilet.  I heard strange noises.  I thought there was a monkey in there.

- Justin, on the pub toilet.

Alley

It was weird though, I went there and they were doing it down the alley.

- Justin on Morris Dancing.

iPad

I have to sleep with my iPad, it's where the charger is.

- Justin, on love of his iPad.

Donkey

Need a donkey.

- Justin, ordering a drink.

Lift me up

It's like this game where they make you sit down interlocking arms. They say they're going to lift you up but really they just hold you down and someone sticks their bum in your face.

- Justin, on games.

Sorry for the noise

I'm sorry about that noise. I was trying to lift myself off my chair without using my feet because my big toe is trying to cut the other one.

- Justin, on odd noises he makes.

Hippos

Something about a hippo?

- Justin, on root cause analysis.

The dating game

Dave: She pretty much talked at me all night.

Justin: I don't think I could handle that. I'd probably end up in a relationship.

- Justin, on dating.

Tea

I was 10 and made honeysuckle tea. It was somewhat toxic so I gave it to my uncle.

- Justin, on childhood.

Coffee

"I had some coffee this morning and it made me afraid to talk."

- Justin, on why there's less crazy than usual today.

Bananas?

"Isn't it cool that bananas open at the top not the bottom."

- Justin, handling his banana.

Even fishier

"I had some, and then I had a funny stomach so I'm eating it again."

- Justin, on eating fish.

Fishy

"I think a piece of fish might have fallen down me."

- Justin, explaining why he's patting himself down.

Nosebag

"Why is Justin eating out of a bag?"

- Lawrence, in disbelief.

Grice

"Grice for moon, Grice for Shrek"

- Justin, reason utterly inexplicable.

Wet

"I think I just wet myself"

- Justin, reason unknown and unknowable

Smaller now...

"Helen, why are you so tall?"

"Oh, wait, I'm just smaller".

- Justin, having sat on a lower chair than usual.