Blowjob eyes

Justin: That sheep has blow-job eyes.
Me: What?
Justin: You know, like a human female...

- Justin, continuing to romance sheep.

Damp flatulence

I just blew a bubble out of my bottom.

- Justin, forever blowing bubbles.

Jagerturds

Grant: Justin, does your shit smell like Jagerbombs?
Justin: Not yet...

- Justin, planning to improve the aroma

Boiled food

Boils are quite tasty.

- Justin, on feeding himself (yet again)

Catfood, yum yum

I've eaten cat-food.

- Justin, on feeding himself (again)

Leeches

If they applied leeches to me and they sucked all of the blood from my body, would my blood pressure go up or down?

- Justin, on medieval medicine.

No worries about sheep

The thing about sheep is: they can't press charges.

- Justin, on matters legal.